Ironman by Chris Crutcher

buttwipes like that who are better than anyone who isn’t like them, but I found myself divided. He kept saying homosexuality was a choice, and you kept asking exactly when he decided he would be heterosexual. (Of course, when he wound himself up so tight he was laying the radio waves flat, you said your customary “Rest well, sir” and left him stranded in Radio Neverland.) That’s a disturbing question, Lar, because I’ve never thought of it like that. I don’t know anyone who’s gay, so I guess I don’t know what I think.
    Rest well,
The Brewski
    Â 
    â€œSo how did you like visiting with my parents?” Joey asks smugly.
    â€œI’ve rode happier trails,” Nak says back.
    â€œTold you you shouldn’t have tried to make me kiss up to a goddamn skunk,” Joey says. “Told you youdidn’t want to be around when my old man gets hot.”
    Nak smiles. “Actually, your daddy was downright tame compared to your mother.”
    â€œYeah, well, my mother was home when the skunk blew. Dad was spending the night with his girlfriend.”
    Hudgie looks up in delight. “Skunk blew in your house? No kiddin’? Blew right in your house?”
    â€œNo kiddin”, Hudge,” Joey says. “My whole family’s living in a motel right now. My folks are thinking about suing the school for damages.”
    â€œSue ’em big time,” Hudgie says. “Get millions. Bring the place to ’er knees. Close ’er down. Skunk blew. Right in the house.”
    Elvis snorts. “Man, this is bogus. I’m draggin’ my ass out of bed in the dark every morning to listen to this shit? I thought we were supposed to be learning about our anger. This is turning into some kind of Bambi soap opera, guys invitin’ skunks to dinner. I got no time for this.”
    Nak says, “So why do you show up?”
    â€œâ€™Cause I’m outta this bogus piece-of-shit school if I don’t,” Elvis says.
    â€œSeems like that would be to your benefit,” Nak says back. “Hard to see why you don’t jus’ hop off this miserable bronc.”
    â€œAnd have my old man turn loose on me? Nothanks, Chinaman.”
    â€œI’m Japanese,” Nak says, “and I’ve seen your old man. He ain’t half your size soakin’ wet. Unless he’s packin’ a shootin’ iron, I don’t reckon he’d have much chance of takin’ you out.”
    â€œYou don’t know my old man.”
    â€œMaybe not,” Nak says, “but this don’t add up. There’s more to this than you bein’ scared your daddy’s gonna hurt you. I’m bettin’ he’s got a bigger hold on you than that.”
    Elvis’s entire body tenses. “Hey, maybe you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about.”
    â€œWouldn’t be the first time,” Nak says, “but that don’t usually stop me from talkin’.” He expands his attention to include the rest of the group. “Tell you folks what. I call this here gatherin’ Anger Management because that’s what the powers that be want me to call it. But what it’s really about is dealin’ with whatever comes up, in a way that don’t break you. If it’s skunks, then it’s skunks. If it’s dads turnin’ loose on you, then it’s dads turnin’ loose on you. But it all boils down to you. I’m not a man who’s gonna tell you to go home and obey your parents or”—and he nods toward Bo Brewster—“your English teacher. I’m here to help you do what you do, then stand up an’ own it in a way youcan be proud of. Believe it or not, that’ll give you a lot less to be angry about.” He turns back to Elvis. “You can fight bein’ here all you want, pardner, but when all the horses are in the corral, you gotta live with yourself an’ how you respond to