Leap by M.R. Joseph Page B

own.”
    “Oh,” I reply quietly.
    Mack shines the flashlight on my face. It’s so bright I shield my eyes from it.
    “Get that out of my face, Mack.”
    “Rinny, I want you to know that whatever it was that I did to calm you down worked so if you have another one, just call me and I’ll be there to help you through it.”
    “I never ever want to feel that way again so no offense but I hope you never have to help me through another one.”
    “Me neither,” he says back.
    We lay in silence and listen to the storm outside. The quiet is calming but also unnerving. We could talk about a million and one things like we do every day. There’s always something for us to talk about. Except for now.
    He takes the flashlight, and its beams cast a glow onto the ceiling of fading stars.
    “We leave for college in three months.” He sighs and twirls the light around and around—making the stars appear like they're shooting across the sky.
    “Yeah, I know. You won’t have to put up with me bothering you by throwing rocks at your window or me just walking in your house and coming straight up to your room and making myself comfy.”
    Still staring at his light show he replies, “I never had to put up with anything I didn’t want to put up with, Rinny.”
    I look over at him stunned a little by his words but also realizing that it’s the same with me. I never have to worry about him busting in my room excited about a baseball score, or to flush the toilet in my bathroom while I was in the shower on purpose as a joke. I won’t have to put up with him raiding my refrigerator and eating my favorite food my mom buys me before I have a chance to eat it.
    I won’t have to put up with any of his shit until summer breaks.
    Then my stomach empties into my feet.
    “Yeah, me neither. It’s going to be weird though. I know you're going to be just a few minutes away but even that seems far compared to now.”
    He sighs and puts down the flashlight—making it dark in my room except for the unpredictable luster of the lightning.
    “I know but I want us to make a pact, Rinny. No matter what, we talk every day. Even if it’s just for a few minutes or if it’s just a quick hi. Let’s just do it so we can hear each other's voices. It’ll be a little different not seeing each other every day but at least we can talk.”
    “I’m a little freaked out, Mack. This isn’t middle school. This is college. We’ll be on our own. Aren’t you freaked out in the slightest?”
    “A little. I just know I need to get away from here for a while. I need to let my mom grieve alone, and I need to get away from the somberness of that house and this town, and this city. I need to escape how depressing it is. Still over a year and a half later and it’s everywhere we turn. New York has become nothing but one, big spiritless hole.”
    Poor Mack. I know how difficult it must be for him to watch Jocelyn suffer through her depression over losing his dad.
    “I think the city is just going to get stronger, Mack. People are coming together. The government is doing what they can. The troops are in Afghanistan and the Taliban don’t stand a chance against us. I don’t think we’ll be at war for too long. I give it a year.”
    “Those fuckers, Rinny. Those fuckers killed my dad.” I can tell from the sound of his voice he’s getting sad so I nudge his arm with mine.
    “Hey, don’t you dare rain on my pity party. I’m the one with post-traumatic stress attacks. You’re stealing my thunder, MacIntyre.” He turns sideways onto his pillow and faces me. The brightness of the light that glimmers into my window fixates on his features and illuminates the brown-jeweled toned irises of his eyes. The few freckles he has across his nose come into my sight and the grin he gives me stirs something inside my belly. And like the wind that carries a sail on the water without warning, I want to reach out and touch him. At this moment beyond anything I could ever