Love's Fate (Love Trilogy #1) by Tracey Smith

felt broken. My heart didn’t work right. Maybe it didn’t know how.
    I wanted to love Jared. I wanted to be happy with him. Maybe I could if I tried harder. I could pretend at least. But would that be fair to him? Didn’t he deserve better than someone who only pretended to love him? Surely there was someone out there who really could love him. I knew there had to be.
    But what about me? Was there someone out there that I could love? Deep in my heart I knew there was. I already loved him. I didn’t know why or how it was even possible, but I was in love with a man I’d never met. A man I could never have. I really was broken.
    I needed to clear my head. I felt so confused. I began climbing the trail to the cliff , but stopped before reaching the end. Someone was already there. In my spot! Sure it was a public beach, I didn’t own this spot but it was mine. And I needed it right now more than ever.
    I stared at the back of the guy’s head and I was so mad I wanted to throw a rock at it! How dare he take my spot! All the times I’d come here over the summer no one had ever been here, and now the one time I needed this spot the most someone was already there. Tears were silently streaming down my face as I turned around and walked away.

Chapter 10: Searching
     
     
    My farewell with Elle was unemotional. We had planned on leaving the day after the wedding to go back to Paris, so that night I told her I would not be going back with her. She just smiled with a sad look in her eyes kissed me once saying “au revoir”.
    She was gone when I woke up in the morning.
    Charlie and Claire had offered to let me stay at their place while they were on their honeymoon. I appreciated their kindness, but I knew they would need their privacy when they got back so finding my own place was definitely a priority.
    I was nervous and excited about the prospect of finally meeting Katherine. It was so nice to finally know her name. It made her feel more real to me, not just the girl from my dreams.
    The anticipation of finally getting to meet her was almost too much to take. I was tempted to call the catering service the very day after the wedding, to ask for her and arrange a meeting. But suddenly I was apprehensive. How would she react to my call? Would it totally freak her out to have some stranger call her out of the blue and ask to meet her? Of course it would. I had to find a way to meet her casually, but how? And what would she think of me?
    I had nothing to offer her. I was 26 years old and I had absolutely nothing to my name. No car, no money, no job, not even my own place. I was suddenly terrified that she would have no interest in getting to know me. But at the same time a small part of me felt like she was longing for this reunion as much as I was. How strange that it felt like a reunion when we had never actually met.
    I was drawn to her, of that I was sure and I owed it to myself to find her, to meet her. There had to be some reason that our paths had crossed again. Like Fate was trying to bring us together.
    I decided that I needed to get my feet on the ground before I found her. It didn’t take me long to get settled. I had found an apartment by the time Charlie and Claire got back, but I only had a little money left in my savings. Seven years’ worth of savings spent in once careless year floating through Europe. I needed to find a job fast.
    I went by the radio station at UCSD and my old station manager put in a good word for me with the marketing department since they had an opening. It was amazing how easy it was to start my life back up almost where I’d left off, like the last year hadn’t even happened. It was strange being back in San Diego. I had never planned on coming back. But I had a reason to be here and now that I was settled it was all I could think about.
    I started my search at the last place I’d seen her. I got the phone number for the catering company from Claire and I called to see if they could