My Libertine (Trio Book 2) by Joy Blood Page B

the reason why.
    “He of course apologized. Also told me that the kid wasn't his, dates don't match up I guess.” Still, doesn't change the fact he talked to her like he did. “I just needed closure I guess. We said we're still going to be friends and that if I ever needed anything he would be there for me.”
    “Do you love him, Cris?” Linn asks. She takes a moment.
    “I do but not in a romantic sense, not the way he feels about me. He was more of a crutch I was using. It’s not fair to him or me for that matter to continue seeing him.” Wow.
    “Well, I'm glad you talked to him then,” I tell her wishing I had closure of my own. I still haven't heard from him. I can’t bring myself to delete his number, every once in a while looking at the picture he saved under his contact info. The conversation continues and I get lost in my thoughts of him. Then like a force of nature my eyes drift up to a TV mounted to the wall and I see bull riding being played on the screen. A name being scrolled across the bottom makes my heart speed up, Row Canter, ranked number four. Shit. I try to look closer, getting out of my seat and walking over to the TV. The sound isn't on but I don't need it. I can see him. In the chute getting down onto a bull then blowing out of the chute at a rapid pace. My gut clenches as the bull spins and bucks until finally, he jumps off. No celebration as he did before when I saw him ride the first time. He just walks to the back of the arena. Seconds later he is being interviewed. I watch his lips move remembering how they felt on me. His hair has gotten much longer but his beard is gone now. He has no smile, no emotion. He just had a perfect ride, points outranking everyone for the night and he still has no smile. All cockiness that is Row is gone. They seem to be done talking, he nods and walks off. Somehow taking more of my heart with him through the screen. I turn around to see Linn standing behind me.
    “You okay?” she asks with a look so familiar on her face, one of pity. I hate that look, always getting it from her whether it be from a fight with my mom or a stupid boy fucking me over.
    “I'm good.” My answer, every time. “You two ready to go, I could really get my drink on now.”
    “Sure thing.” She smiles and we walk to Cris paying the bill and leaving to go to the damned bar.

 
     
     
     
     
     
    Shots. Many, many shots later. Well probably just four, my tolerance level is down these days. We all decide to be done and call a cab for home. Linn is staying the night. It is going to be a dirty Sunday tomorrow. We haven't had one of those in a while. We go to our rooms to sleep off our drunk state, only I don't go to sleep. Nope, I'm drunk remember? And I have my phone. Taking it out and flopping down onto my bed, I scroll down and find Row’s name. Typing out a text to him.
     
    Shane : saw you ride on TV today
     
    I lay the phone on my stomach and start to drift off when the chime goes off alerting me to a response.
     
    Row : how are you?
     
    Shane : that is one hell of a loaded question. How are you?
     
    Row : asked you first
     
    Shane : shit. Your turn
     
    Row : shit
     
    Shane : well aren't we a pair
     
    Shane : you broke my heart you know
     
    Row : I know
     
    Row : take care Dove
     
    I roll my eyes. Him and his take care he can shove it. I'm pissed now, and drunk and pissed is really not a good combo for me.
     
    Shane : yep you too. be sure to not get any STD’s while you are out there bed hopping
     
    I toss the phone to the side table and drift off to sleep. Jerk. I hate boys, stupid boys.
     
    I wake the next morning with a damned hangover from hell, knowing that I did something stupid last night but can't put my finger on what. Well until I look at my phone and see the texts between Row and I. Oh no no no. Part of me wants to apologize and blame it on the alcohol, but I decide not to. Just let it be. My head hurts too much to be remorseful.
    Getting out of bed