Nobody Loves a Bigfoot Like a Bigfoot Babe by Simon Okill Page B

the sign. She dutifully slowed down and scanned the forest for Bigfoot, calling out in a cute voice, "Here, Bigfoot."
    Willis stared at the sign as it flashed by and grimaced. He was aware that his pulse rate had increased and his palms felt clammy. He had a bad feeling in the pit of his stomach, like a nest of snakes squirming out of control. And his throat felt dry. He wondered if this is what a panic attack felt like.
    Willis recalled telling his FBI supervisor that it was a pointless waste of time reassigning him to a missing person case and sending him to Big Beaver to investigate the disappearance of Beau Flucker, someone well-known for claiming he'd been abducted by Bigfoot. He had pointed out to his FBI supervisor that his area of expertise was audio and visual surveillance.
    His supervisor had told him in no uncertain terms that it was on Doctor Fernandez's prescription that Willis be sent to his hometown to sort out his personal problems.
    It was just dumb luck that this abduction case should occur at the wrong moment, and a perfect excuse to be psychologically evaluated to see how he'd react on returning to his hometown, a place he had expressed negative feelings about and was possibly the root cause of his recent antagonistic behavior.
Shrinks! What do they know
, thought Willis. Problem is, deep down, Willis knew the shrink was spot on.
    Willis looked askance at his partner and saw her take her eye off the road to admire her reflection in the rear view mirror, and inspect her exceptionally white teeth.
    The vain bitch will kill us both
, thought Willis, as he looked back out of the passenger window.
    "Eyes on the road!"
    The Big Beaver welcome sign loomed up in front of them like something out of his nightmares.
    Willis swallowed nervously. His pulse rate went up a notch. He ran his clammy hands down the legs of his trousers. The bad feeling in the pit of his stomach had started to give him the cramps. Sweat broke out on his brow. He started once again to tap his fingertips on both knees.
    The woman he once loved was so close his guilt was ready to explode in his head-guilt at dumping her without saying anything. He just up and left.
    The sign read "Welcome to Big Shaved Beaver."
    At first, Willis wasn't at all amused at what was emblazoned on the sign for all to see.
Disgusting
, he thought. But inwardly, the juvenile reference caused him to smile at distant memories-fond memories of
her
. Outwardly, he was a rock.
    Merlot looked at the sign and chuckled. She slammed on the brakes with a squeal of rubber, and peered up at the town welcome sign through the front window.
    "Welcome to Big Shaved Beaver!" Merlot took a snapshot of the sign with her cell phone and sniggered.
    Willis turned to look at his partner and gave her an irritated look. "It's juvenile and it's disgusting." He desperately wanted to laugh, but his stoic manner wouldn't allow him to let his guard down. He would be vulnerable then.
    Merlot continued to look up at the sign. She chuckled. She started fiddling with her cell phone.
    "What the hell are you doing now?"
    Merlot grinned and pressed a key, "There."
    "You sent that to the guys back in Sacramento, didn't you?"
    "You betcha," Merlot said, bursting out laughing.
    Willis clenched his fists in anger. Didn't his partner realize what a pain in the butt she was? And just like the idiot who had defiled the town welcome sign, Merlot was a juvenile with a disgusting mind. Willis would give anything right now to see the looks on his comrades' faces back at the field office. But there was that rock again.
    "Are you going to stay here all day admiring such vulgarity?"
    Merlot couldn't stop giggling. "Lighten up . . . don't you think Big Shaved Beaver is a good one?" She sniggered. "But I can think of a few better ones —such as Big Furry Beaver or Big Trimmed Beaver."
    Willis' thin lip curled into a vicious snarl.
    "Zip it!"
    Merlot looked askance at her partner. The smile left her face as she judged