Runaway Love by Pamela Washington

didn’t try to kill myself, I know that for sure; I just wanted to escape for a while. I blink several times and my surroundings finally come into focus. I’m in my bed with Tony holding me like he’s afraid he’s losing me. Is he?
    This reminds me of the day when I came home to Tony’s apartment incredibly drunk and screaming in pain from the heartache Scott caused me. I had gone straight to my room without acknowledging anyone, but Tony followed me. I yelled and called him every name in the book, yet he never left me. He laid on my bed with me, pulled me close, and held me until I fell asleep. Allison had come home and seen me and Tony in my bed together. She started fussing and yelling at Tony. I remember her calling me a crazy bitch who was worthless because I was hooked on drugs and alcohol. It was true, but Tony didn’t like it one bit. She told Tony she was going to leave him if he didn’t get rid of me.
    I’ll always remember Tony’s response: “That will be the best thing you can do because Grace will always come first in my life.” I cried the hardest that night. I heard Allison slam the apartment door, and Tony came back into bed with me.
    Tony has always here for me, even when I was going through the darkest times. I can’t go backwards with Tony; I can’t put him through that ever again. I want both Scott and Tony in my life, but I know I can’t because Tony is my future and Scott is my past. They can’t co-exist in this world. Maybe in another life, Scott could be mine, but I somehow have to figure out how to navigate the here and now without the love of my life.
    I don’t know how long I sleep, but when I wake up again, it’s morning, and Tony’s bringing me in a breakfast tray.
    “Good morning, Gracie,” Tony says with a little bit of apprehension. I sit up against the headboard, relieved I’m feeling a little better than yesterday.
    “Good morning. I’m sorry about yesterday.” He shakes his head and bends down and gives me a kiss on the lips.
    “Don’t worry about it, baby. I know you have a lot on your mind; I just hope that you can talk to me about it. Oh, Kim has been calling like crazy, so you might want to call her soon.”  I nod and start picking at my food as I watch Tony pop in an I Love Lucy DVD before he leaves the room.
    I feel my phone vibrate next to me. I glance at it to see it’s a text from Scott.
     
 
 
Scott:
I hope you’re not mad at me about the other night. Please call me to let me know that you’re okay.
     
    I hit delete without a second thought. Really, Scott? He wants to pretend he really cares about me? Why? To soothe his conscience? Make himself feel like he tried to help me? This is bullshit, and I don’t have time for him. I need to ignore him because I don’t want to hurt Tony. I really do want to talk to Scott about this thing with Maxine, though. God, I am so fucked up! I can’t make up my fucking mind! I call Kim instead of thinking about Scott because I know she has questions, and I owe her the answers.
    She answers on the first ring. “Oh my God, Grace! You scared the shit out of me! Why are you just now calling me?”
    I sigh into the phone. “I’m so sorry, Kim, for putting you in the middle of all this. I really am. Everything that’s happened is because of you know who, and I just needed a drink to cope with it all. I know, I know it’s not an excuse, but it’s what I did. I feel awful for hurting people I care about.”
    “Girl, you did more than drink! I have never seen you so wasted! If that bartender hadn’t answered my phone call, what would’ve happened?” I know Kimberly’s right. I was stupid for putting myself in that type of situation, especially when I have a husband and a son to think about.
    “I know, I know. I’m so grateful everything worked out for the best, and you were able to help me.” We talk a little more before Tony comes back upstairs, and I tell her I’ll call her back.
    That night Tony wants to