Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas Page B

imperfect men meant more to their wives than anything they owned.
    Where is your greatest wealth?

Chapter 6: The Helper
    Embracing the High Call of Marriage
     
    W hen Grant Fishbook decided to leave his position at a church, a few people didn’t like his reasons, so they created their own and started slandering him. They called into question Grant’s character and integrity, which only added to the misery he already felt. Discouraged, Grant was working at an eight-dollar-an-hour job, crawling under houses and trying to figure out how to pay his mortgage and feed his family while still listening to God’s voice for the future.
    Grant still believed God had called him to ministry, so the disappointment of recent events, the frustration of working at a less-than-satisfying job, the uncertainty of the future, and the sudden financial crisis all threatened to bury him with discouragement.
    But Grant has a wife — a godly and strong wife — who stepped in. Laurel saw the disappointment in her husband’s face, but she never stopped believing in him. In the midst of his discouragement, she became his protector rather than his accuser.
    One day, Grant walked into the house and overheard Laurel talking on the telephone; because Grant entered the room from behind her, Laurel wasn’t aware of his arrival. But this is what Grant heard: “No, you can’t talk to my husband. You don’t get to him unless you go through me. And if you find a way to go around me, you’d better remember something: that’s my husband, and I am his wife.”
    Today, Grant pastors the largest evangelical church in Whatcom County, Washington (where I live). On a recent Easter morning, over five thousand people showed up to celebrate the resurrection at Christ the King. And Grant would be the first to tell you that the reason he can do what he does is based in part on what Laurel did back then. At that time, he was a fragile man supported by a strong wife; but with Laurel’s support, Grant has become a spiritual leader for an entire region.
    This is exactly what God intended marriage to do.
    The Spiritual Weight of Marital Roles
     
    When God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him” (Genesis 2:18), he wasn’t talking to himself — he was talking to us . He was letting us in on the Trinity’s design for human marriage. God designed the wife to help her husband.
    This theme appears throughout Scripture. The book of Proverbs proclaims the truth of a woman’s helpful influence:
“A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones” (12:4).
“The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down” (14:1).
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value” (31:11).
    Paul assumes marital “helping” to be a transferable, teachable skill; he urges a young pastor named Titus to ensure that older women properly “train” the younger women how to love — help — their husbands (see Titus 2:3 – 4).
    This, of course, raises that most contentious of issues — biblical submission. The phrase itself can be (and has been) so misconstrued that much harm has been done in arguing both for it and against it. So let’s be clear on several things.
    First, the Bible does not teach the subjugation of women to men. The Bible does not prohibit women from serving as government leaders or CEOs or from working outside of the home. The Bible addresses roles of a husband and wife and various roles within the church, not the relationships between neighbors or coworkers.
    Second, submission, properly defined, does not mean “inferior.” We are all one in Christ in such a way that you could even say there exists complete sexual equality (see Galatians 3:28). God cherishes women every bit as much as he cherishes men. Women can be every bit as capable, if not more so, than men.
    Third, “helper” isn’t an exclusive