Sacred Influence by Gary Thomas Page A

One looked at him through frustrated expectations; one saw him with unlimited possibilities.
    With what set of eyes are you gazing at your husband? Keep in mind , you’re not the only one looking at him . That’s not a threat; it’s just a statement of reality.
    I’ve talked to a number of influential men who seem surprisingly unappreciated by their spouses. Because these wives see their husbands’ domestic limits, they remain blind to their accomplishments and public esteem, so they give them less encouragement at home than they receive in the marketplace — a dangerous mix, to be sure. A wise wife sometimes sits back and readjusts her view of the man she married and thus gives him his due esteem.
    Let me put it another way: maybe your husband is “just” an assistant manager or even an associate pastor. While this might not seem like much to you , others still look up to your husband with respect and even affection — those your husband has hired or trained, as well as customers or church members who have come to rely on his leadership and skills. When a husband feels more respected and appreciated at work than he does at home, a precarious situation erupts. Eventually, his heart may gravitate to the place where he feels most cherished.
    Working wives may face this temptation even more than stay-at-home moms, in large part because you may be among the almost 33 percent of women who earn more than their husbands. 12 Ginny Graves writes wisely about this:
Many women are angry and exhausted after spending long days at the office, then doing the bulk of the “women’s work” at home. And if they have children, they often yearn for more free time and less stress — and wish their partners would take on more of the financial burden, a desire that often goes unfulfilled because many men can’t find higher-paying work. 13
    In the midst of living with this kind of frustration, it can be easy to forget the things that first drew you to your man: his sense of humor, his thoughtfulness, his spiritual depth, or any number of other strengths. Though you may become blind to these qualities, that doesn’t mean everyone else will. Respect is a spiritual obligation and discipline. Give your husband his due!
    Linda Dillow writes about the time she spoke on the college campus where her husband worked. After the introduction, an eighteen-year-old said, “Oh, are you Jody Dillow’s wife? I think he’s wonderful!” Linda writes, “The last sentence was said with a sort of swoon. She went on to talk about my husband as if he were Tarzan, Albert Einstein, and Billy Graham all in one. I barely made it through my message that afternoon. All the way home I thought about the way this girl saw my husband. It jolted me to look at him through another woman’s eyes!” 14
    How can you begin to appreciate an imperfect man? Ask God for fresh eyes.
    Immeasurable Worth
     
    In the twelfth century, the vast wealth of Weinsberg Castle lay in peril. 15 Enemy forces besieged the stone fortress and threatened the riches that lay within. The inhabitants stood no chance of defending themselves against such a great horde, and the opposing forces demanded a full and complete surrender. If the occupants would agree to give up their wealth and the men would give up their lives, the women and children would be spared.
    After consultation, the women of Weinsberg Castle asked for one provision: they asked to leave with as many possessions as they could carry. If the opposing forces would agree to this one request, the men inside would lay down their arms and hand over the castle’s riches. Fully aware of the wealth of riches loaded within the castle, the enemy forces agreed. After all, how much could these women take?
    Finally, the castle gates opened, and the sight that emerged elicited tears from even the most calloused soldiers. Every woman carried her husband on her back.
    How many of those rescued men were perfect? Not one. But every one of those