Shampoo by Karina Almeroth Page B

magical.
     
     
     
    Saturday 29 July 2000
    7.00pm

    Think I narrowly missed killing myself last
night.

    (who knew it could be that easy?? My last
ACTUAL suicide attempt, the one Dad has never forgiven me for and
didn’t talk to me for six months over – ON YA FAMILY, FOR THE
SUPPORT! - was very complicated and painful and involved me being
forced to drink tar then vomiting black tar everywhere for hours.
Apparently liquid codeine is the go. Mental note for next time.
KIDDING!!!! If I can’t joke here, where can I joke??)

    I slept from last night till 3pm today, and I
only woke up cause Nat arrived.
    It was midnight and I couldn’t sleep from
coughing, and instead of measuring the dose, I just grabbed it from
the bedside table and took a swig.
    Then passed out for fifteen hours.
    Today, after Nat woke me
     
    (going, “You look like shit!!” Oh thank you,
dear sis),
     
    I checked the bottle, and I’d gulped half of
it!!!
    Dan and the boys and my new idol, Josie, are
going into the city tonight. I am so jealous!! I want to be out
having fun.
    Nat’s going to the drive-in tonight, and I was
supposed to go, but I couldn’t get out of bed if I
tried.
     
     
     
    Sunday 30 August 2000
    4.40pm

    Feeling better today.
    I went to lunch with Dad and Cruz at The
Colmslie
     
    (think they were feeling sorry for their
retarded daughter, and decided to take me out to ease their
guilt),
     
    then did all my washing at Dad’s in his sad
little (that I secretly love) twin tub from 1950, which means
standing over it and handwashing everything. It took me
forever.
    Then I had to drive to the laundromat and dry
it all.
    Now I’m just stuffed and fallen into
bed.
    Haven’t heard any news from my
sources (so Dan) about Evvy…I know it’s Tom’s
21 st next Saturday.
    I won’t be invited!!
    And that hurts.
    So I’ve GOT to have plans for next Saturday
night, because one of the Scooby Gang will ask what I’m up to, and
I’ve gotta at least LOOK like I have a life.
     
    8.25pm
    ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ is on. Makes me
think of Rich.
     
     
     
    Monday 31 July 2000
    6.29pm

    I can barely move at the moment. Work was HARD,
cause I was so sick. Struggled through the day.
    Julia said at one point today that Evvy should
be looking after me.
    Ha! What a joke. Ha ha ha ha ha!!!
    Except I looked crushed instead, then cried on
Julia’s shoulder.
    Then Renee stood up, peering over the cubicles,
and called out, “Pinky, are you bringing a partner to the opening
night?”
     
    (of our new building we’re about to move in
to),
     
    and my head whipped up from Julia’s shoulder,
and I cried, “YES!! Yes I am!!”, to Nat raising her eyebrows at me,
wondering what partner I was bringing, and where I was pulling him
out of.
    Why why WHY am I so stupid?? Why did I say I’m
bringing a partner?? I DON’T HAVE A BLOODY PARTNER!!
    Cause I want one SO BAD IT HURTS.
    And his stupid (my stupid) final decision crap
falls THE NIGHT BEFORE opening night. So I will most likely be
dateless anyway!
    I kinda like being single at work events, so I
can flirt with EVERYBODY
     
    (namely, Benny),
     
    but Renee needed exact numbers and WHO AM I
GONNA PULL OUT OF MY ASS TO TAKE??!!!
    Hyperventilating now.
    I so wanted Sherrie and Julia to meet him. Yes,
I’ve gabbed about Evvy like he’s some prince.
    Prince of Darkness.
     
    6.02pm
    I woke up in a pool of sweat and Nat ringing.
Mark’s in hospital, and I just got really sad for him. He’s a total
doll, so sweet.
    Then I got really sad for myself, which is so
rotten of me, cause Josie is staying the night in hospital with
him, and I just burst into tears at Nat telling me, BECAUSE NO ONE
WOULD DO THAT FOR ME.

    (I’ve had multiple surgeries, and no one has
stayed with me)
    That’s just crushing, to realize that. While I
die alone of whopping cough.
    Nat and Dan are going to see him, and I feel
left out. I love all those guys, even stupid Tom, and I want to be
a part of their group.
    But