With Me by Gabbie S. Duran

taking me back to another.
    “Kasey cooked me dinner the night before I left for boot camp. Her parents weren’t home. One thing led to another and we ended up sleeping together that night. I had to leave the next morning and I kept thinking she’d be there when I got back, but she wasn’t,” I say, my voice now sounding raspy as I try to control the grief of the words deep within me.
    “Her parents told me she left out of state when I asked them where she was at, and I believed them,” I explain.
    Ashley’s looks as if she’s ready to cry. I have to turn away from her to look out the back window, needing the distraction of the darkened sky to clear my mind.
    But Mark’s next question brings my attention back. “So what do you plan on doing now?”
    “I don’t know,” I truthfully tell him. “I haven’t really wanted to make plans until I get to talk to Kasey. I don’t know how I’m going to handle leaving them when I go back home, though,” I say, twisting the beer bottle in my hand, trying to distract myself.
    The silence in the room grows heavy, making me feel uncomfortable.
    “Well, whatever it is you plan on doing, we’re here for you,” he sincerely says to me.
    Smiling at both of them, I feel better knowing I have their support. Mark can be an ass most of the time, but he’s always had my back, and there was no doubt that he’d have it with whatever decision I make in this situation as well. The only problem is, I have to figure out what it is I plan on doing.
    “Does Kasey even plan on telling Josephina that you’re her father?” Mark asks, making me think about it.
    Knowing Kasey hasn’t told Josephina worries me, but I’ve been trying to take things one day at a time with her, not wanting to frighten her. The last thing I want is for Kasey to try keeping me from seeing Josephina, especially since Josephina doesn’t know I’m her father. My focus is getting to know her, slowly trying to gain Josephina’s trust, as I wait for Kasey to inform her. I want to be part of this little girl’s life. I just haven’t figured out how the hell I was going to do that.
    There’s a lot I need to discuss with Kasey; the sooner, the better.
    “Does Kasey know that you’re engaged?” Mark curiously asks, most likely already knowing the answer.
    Shaking my head at them, I feel the guilt returning as it builds up inside of me.
    I hear Ashley grumble, but Mark chuckles at my response.
    I planned on telling Kasey about Elizabeth tonight, but the right moment never came up. I know well enough not to try to explain the situation to Elizabeth over the phone. Telling her was going to have to wait until I got back to the west coast. That was something I was going to have to do in person with her, which I wasn’t looking forward to either. I know I’m in deep shit with this whole situation, but there wasn’t anything I could change about the past or the outcome of it.
    Seeing Ashley starting to yawn, I excuse myself to my room, wishing them a goodnight so they can head off to bed as well. Reaching my room, I lie down in the bed and stare up at the ceiling, trying to figure out how the hell I was going to fix all this.
    Looking down at the screen of my phone, I see the time, realizing that Kasey should be home by now. Without hesitation I search for her number in my contacts and I press call, waiting for her to answer. She quickly picks up on the third ring and when I hear her voice a smile forms on my lips, loving the sound of her voice.
    “Hi Joseph, is something wrong?” she asks, her worried tone making my smile grow wider.
    “No, nothing is wrong. I just wanted to make sure you made it home okay,” I tell her. “Did you put Josephina to bed already?”
    Her voice drops down, almost into a whisper as she responds. “Yes. I think she fell asleep the moment I put her in the car. She was really worn out from tonight. I think it was that video game system,” she says with a chuckle. “Maybe I