The Ivy Lessons by J Lerman

me do things my way.’
    ‘ I really don’t know the scene too well.’
    Marc looks at me, a long, hard look. ‘I’ll be acting with you. Don’t worry. You look far too tense.’ He walks towards me and I feel myself growing even more rigid. He takes my hands, and shakes my arms.
    My upper body relaxes a little, but I’m keenly aware he’s holding my hands. I find myself staring into his eyes.
    He drops my hands and looks away . ‘Better?’
    I nod. ‘Thank you.’
    ‘Don’t try to remember the scene,’ says Marc. ‘You don’t need to. I know it very well and I’ll lead. What I want you to do is try to feel what it is to be Jennifer at this moment. She’s just found out her director beau is sleeping with another young ballerina, and that she may lose her part. She’s looking for comfort. And reassurance that her sexuality can still get her what she wants. What would you be feeling if you were her?’
    ‘ I’d be angry ,’ I say. ‘ And scared. ’
    ‘Okay. Good. What else?’
    ‘I’d feel powerless. And I’d want to take some power back. Have some power over someone else.’
    ‘Very good. How would you show that in your body?’
    I feel myself standing taller, looking him dead in the eye, a hand falling to my hip. My eyes narrow and my lips part a little.
    ‘Excellent. Let’s start.’
    I nod. ‘You’re an extremely talented dancer, Antoni o .’ I stroke my hair and walk towards Marc, my hips swaying. ‘I imagine you’ve known a lot of leading ladies in your time. ’
    ‘A few,’ says Marc, with a quirky smile. Once again, I’m amazed by how he manages to transform, just like that. I feel Antonio’s youth and muscular energy .
    ‘ Oh ?’ I say, with a smile. ‘How well have you known these leading ladies?’
    ‘Some of them very well,’ says Marc.
    ‘Perhaps you’d like to get to know me better too,’ I say, coming closer. Our torsos are inches apart, and I can feel the heat from his chest. I have to admit right now that I’ m attracted to Marc. It’s undeniable. I feel a pull to him, like a magnet. But that’s not why I’ m moving closer . I’m doing this because I ’m Jennifer, and this is what she would do with Antonio .
    ‘Perhaps ,’ says Mar c .
    I walk in a circle around him. Marc – or rather, Antonio – watches me keenly until I come to a stop in front of him.
    ‘Do you like what you see?’
    ‘Very much.’
    I pause. I know what I want to do next. What I feel Jennifer would do, and, from what I remember of the script, is roughly what she does do. But I don’t know if I can do it. I take a deep breath.
    ‘Keep it going,’ Marc whispers. ‘ You’re doing well. Don’t let it go.’
    I nod, and make myself tall again.
    ‘Perhaps you’d like to see more? ’ I turn around, slide my jumper down over a shoulder, and look back at him with a little smile.
    ‘Very nice.’
    I slide the jumper across and over the other shoulder . ‘ C ould you help me unlace this costume?’
    Marc comes to stand right behind me. He pretends t o undo laces from my shoulders to my lower back, and I feel a shiver down my spine. I pretend to climb out of my costume.
    I go to him, and wrap an arm around his neck, looking fiercely into his eyes. I whisper, ‘I’m yours if you want me.’
    Marc returns my gaze with equal ferocity, and puts his arms around me, leaning me backwards. ‘I do.’
    I know what should happen next. The couple freeze on stage, and then br eak apart for a scene change . The sexual experience between them is left to the imagination of the audience. I remain still, his arm around me, staring into his eyes.
    I’m feeling like Jennifer – seductive, powerful and confident. It’s not in the script, but Marc told me to adlib. So I lean forward and kiss him slowly on the mouth, my body swaying slightly in his arms . A Jennifer kiss, all power and sexual energy.
    I’ m about to pull away, when Marc pulls me into his body, and presses his lips against mine. My