His Ever After (Love Square) by Jessica Ingro

her.
    “Jacob,” she says and tips her head in my direction.
    “Michelle. How are you?” I ask. Unsure of how to proceed with this conversation, I rock back on my heels.
    “I’m good. You… uh… look good. How is everything? How’s Brooke?” Her last question comes out on a sneer.
    My fists clench at my sides. I know that was a dig at me. Brooke is the last thing I want to talk about right now. What I want is to have my curiosity assuaged.
    “She’s fine. Did I hear you say Sam had her baby?” I ask and mentally cross my fingers that she’ll answer me instead of telling me to go to hell.
    Michelle studies my face for several long minutes before she opens her mouth and closes it again. She’s obviously trying to figure out what she wants to say, if anything. She sighs before handing her credit card to the shop owner and turning back to me.
    “Yes. She went into labor late last night. She was almost three weeks early, but her and baby Tessa are perfect. I’m on my way over there now to see them.”
    Three weeks early? Could this mean that there’s a chance the baby is mine? No. I refuse to let my mind wander down that path. I can’t let myself get my hopes up just to be disappointed again. There is little that could be done to change where we are today. I made my choices, and she made hers.
    When I saw Sam in the mall around Christmas time, I was completely floored to discover she was pregnant. I knew she wasn’t on birth control. The first time we had sex, I was so caught up in the moment that I didn’t put on a condom. It was the first time that had ever happened to me. Much to my surprise when I realized it, I didn’t feel panicked or an impending sense of doom. I actually wanted to get her pregnant. Sure it would have been early in our relationship, and it would have been messy given the fact that she was married, but her having my baby would have kept her tied to me forever.
    I even snuck into Sam’s purse after she fell asleep and looked for birth control pills. I checked on a few other occasions too, like when I picked her up from traveling. If there was ever a time they’d be on her, that would be one. But I never found a pack. It might seem a little crazy to be snooping for your significant other’s birth control, but Sam never brought it up, and I was afraid if I mentioned it, she’d catch her mistake.
    So when I saw Sam talking to Brooke at the mall, all I wanted to know was if it was mine or not. I had no idea how to get the words out though. I had to be cautious of how I approached the subject. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt Brooke any more than I already had. When Sam immediately told me the baby wasn’t mine, I wanted to demand a paternity test. I wanted to hold on to the fact that there was a real possibility it could have been mine. I decided to trust her, though. To trust that she wouldn’t lie to me.
    But if she delivered early, maybe the doctor screwed up on her due date. This stuff isn’t fool proof, right? And if the baby is mine, don’t I at least deserve to know? Shouldn’t I at least get a chance to be a father?
    I allow hope to take hold of me. My life has been complete shit all these months without Sam, and Brooke is often less than stable, but I would love this baby so fucking much. She’d be a light in my life, just like her mother.
    Would Brooke be able to handle it though? Maybe she’d move on if that were the case. Maybe she’d realize that she could do a hell of a lot better than me. It might be what Brooke needs to start healing herself. Or it could be the nail in the coffin, sort to speak.
    I’m too tired to think about this right now. It will eat at me, though, if I don’t at least ask.
    “When you say she was early…” I stop myself and swallow the lump rising in my throat. I’m suddenly extremely nervous. I can feel sweat beading on my brow. “Could the baby be mine, Michelle?”
    Michelle looks at me like I just stepped out of the psych ward